Do Not

Do NOT think unkind thoughts about her in any way.

Do NOT be irritated with the babysitter.

Do NOT wish her harm because she cancelled at the last minute because

she forgot she had a study group at school.

Do NOT be cross with the babysitter.

Do NOT make disparaging remarks about her character, her mode of

communication or her choice of dress under your breath.

People are free to talk, dress and behave in whatever manner they choose!

Do NOT be frustrated with the babysitter.

Do NOT ask if her study group keeps her up all night when it has a runny

nose nor explain to her that your need for a 15-minute nap far outweighs the

benefits she will receive from doing one hour of anything else today.

Do NOT be angry with the babysitter.

Do not ask why she must dedicate so much time to this cold clinical entity.

Do not remind her that your child is much more compelling and cute and will

reward her with infinitely more of an educational advantage than any young,

fun, intelligent, and highly attractive group of study group attendees.

Do NOT curse the babysitter.

Do NOT wish her a stomachache or fatigue with vomiting. And under no

circumstances: a painful boil, unfulfilled dreams, or a barren womb.

Instead:

DO EMBRACE your sitter’s educational endeavors! Not all at once, but a little

at a time.

She is the youth of today! She is trying to further her education to better our

country by being particularly diligent with every unnecessary and

meaningless educational exercise offered to her. Good for her! Our country

will reap the benefits.

DO EMBRACE the study group!

You are on a noble path. Ask questions about the study group itself. Try to

take an interest in its ridiculous purpose. Listen to it, hear it, and come to

understand it.

And after that:

INVITE it over to babysit.