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Red Diaper Dharma | January 2009

In Memoriam

By Ericka Lutz

Bill Sonnenschein

March 15, 1949 – December 29, 2008

All of us at Literary Mama are deeply saddened to learn of the death of columnist Ericka Lutz’s husband Bill Sonnenschein. On Monday, December 29, after only a few hours of intense gastric illness, Bill passed away in the small village of Maraontsetra on the east coast of Madagascar. Both Ericka and Annie were with him. The day before, Bill was hiking in the rain forest, spotting lemurs, and sea kayaking at sunset. He was living his life to the fullest.

Ericka’s most recent column, Holding, describes so beautifully how she had been coping with the “situational separation” of having Bill work thousands of miles away:

“Yet Bill hasn’t really left. Our love is strong, our commitment unbroken. We talk on Skype almost every day, and in between, we email and Twitter. We’re still together, we love each other, and this is temporary. He hasn’t really left, he’s just not here right now.”

When someone dies, you search for the right words to comfort. You tell her you’re sorry, then offer any help you can. But you can also offer up her own wisdom: He hasn’t really left, he’s just not here right now.

Expressions of condolence can be posted here in the Comments section.

12 replies on “In Memoriam”

April Hortonsays:
January 5, 2009 at 3:28 am

Hi,

I’m so very sorry for your loss Ericka. I too am a widow, also a very sudden loss, so I understand how deep and profound this loss is. These days and weeks ahead will be the hardest but you will get through them. Just take each day an hour at a time and if that’s too hard, 5 minutes at a time. RIP Bill.

Reply
Jennifersays:
January 5, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Ericka, I am so sorry to hear about this. It seems as though we were just talking about Bill at the Mama Phd party and I was shocked to hear that he had died. I can only imagine how much this must suck, and how hard it must be to adjust to such a different life path. Hugs to you and Annie.

Reply
Robin Bradfordsays:
January 5, 2009 at 7:39 pm

Ericka,
Like so many spread so far, I hold you and yours in my heart. I feel like a neighbor through your writing and writer mamas. I remind you of your own words: Bill still hasn’t really left. Keep on holding. You can do this. xo Robin

Reply
Kimsays:
January 6, 2009 at 6:45 pm

I’m so sorry to hear this – what a terrible shock. Thinking of you and of your family.

Reply
Stephanie Elliotsays:
January 6, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Ericka, I’ve read some of your columns, your name is familiar to me. I am so so deeply sorry for the sudden death of your husband. I just read your column Holding and it’s so profound. I am just sad for you, as a wife, a mother. I’m very sorry.

Reply
Christina Katzsays:
January 6, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Oh my god, so utterly tragic. There seem to be so few words that can convey all the support that I would like to offer. I’m so sorry, Ericka. Please feel loved and supported through all of this.

Reply
Katesays:
January 6, 2009 at 8:31 pm

Erika –

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I’m glad that you and your family were together during your husband’s sudden transition.

Have courage.

Kate Robinson
Chino Valley, AZ

Reply
Faith Paulsensays:
January 6, 2009 at 9:03 pm

I am holding you and your family in the light, as the Quakers say.

Reply
Carol Tresesays:
January 6, 2009 at 9:19 pm

I am very sorry Ericka. My daughter Bonnie went to school with Annie at Archway. My sincere condolences.

Carol Trese Rutherford

Reply
Heather Webstersays:
January 9, 2009 at 5:24 am

Ericka- A quiet mega hug from the ‘ Eternal City’.

Reply
Special Needs Mamasays:
January 20, 2009 at 4:12 am

Holding you in light too. Always, every day.

Reply
Jennifer Margulis says:
January 25, 2009 at 12:48 am

Ericka, I’m so sorry. I’ve been thinking about you every day since I heard. I love you. Jennifer

Reply

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