After Page One

Perhaps it’s too personal, I thought, the subject matter too raw. But isn’t that what memoirs are made of?

I could not bear to write about my loss in a way that felt either utterly hopeless or glib, packaged, and neatly transformed. My call to write was strong, but I was stuck.

I learned about a memoir workshop at a place I had long dreamed of going: Yogaville, an ashram (spiritual community) in rural Virginia. Even though the workshop was only from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon, I hoped it might provide the guidance I was seeking.

I checked in to my room in the guest house – simple, clean, roomy — a perfect retreat for my weekend. After a yoga class and dinner, we had our first workshop session. We discussed memoir and got to know each other and our workshop leader, Joan Borysenko.

That weekend, I ate nourishing food – which I did not have to prepare or clean up myself, had the opportunity for daily yoga classes and meditation, and attended workshop sessions. Using the metaphor of a river, we examined times in our lives where we floated easily with the current, got sucked into dark whirlpools, and were healed and renewed by crystal pools. Yet the magic happened when we got together in small groups to share insights and “aha” moments. I was so inspired by others that I couldn’t wait to continue working when I got back home.

The shifts I felt in less than forty-eight hours weren’t happening in my normal life. I was stuck and isolated, but discussing the process with others opened doors to new ways of seeing.

After the workshop I was able to view my life with my daughter more completely. I identified my character strengths, such as seeing the worth of all people, no matter their ability, as threads running through my life which kept me afloat – sometimes barely – during the deepest strongest whirlpools. Listening to others’ stories, insights, and feedback gave me a multi-dimensional way to organize my memoir, allowing me to tell a more complete and layered story.

Though not everyone will have the desire to go to an ashram, getting together with others – whether in a formal setting like a workshop or more informally with friends or writing buddies, can be inspiring, motivating, and meaningful. Sometimes it takes a shift in perspective to help us move forward again.